farm life, Health and Wellness

Who am I?

You’re a healthy thirty-five year old woman with an anxiety problem.” I replayed that phrase from one of the doctors I saw as if it were a record. The comment was the catalyst in my desire to never step foot in an emergency room again. Especially after it was followed by, “I have actual sick patients to see.”

Despite my blood pressure being exceptionally high, I was told it was my own fault. The numbers were high because I checked them too often. Yet the primary reason why I checked my blood pressure… was because my chest felt as if it was in a vice.

The doctor smirked at me on my way out the door having almost forgotten to give me the potassium I needed. After pushing blood pressure medication through my IV moments earlier to help regulate my numbers… she was oblivious to the damage she had inflicted with her words.

Meanwhile, I could feel my body ramping up to an unknown event so I continued to seek help elsewhere. I sat down with my primary care physician to go over my list of bizarre symptoms… yet the more I talked, the more she looked like Bambi right before getting hit by a semi. Mouth agape, doe eyed, and pure terror.

She wrote up referrals to autoimmune specialists, neurologists, an ENT, and a cardiologist she swore was talented. I went to every appointment. I talked about my strange medical history. I discussed moments of confusion, tremors in my hands, vision loss, high blood pressure, chronic low-grade fevers that would come and go, flushing, chest pain, and a few other oddities like losing consciousness.

A short while later I started having severe vertigo. I spent three months being unable to drive because I kept passing out. I didn’t even bother going to the emergency room this time.

You’re fine.”

You’re healthy.”

Try this medication.” The specialists said.

In the middle of grocery shopping on a gorgeous sunny day, I went from feeling content to unwell within moments. I was browsing the shampoo isle looking forward to a relaxing afternoon when my heart started hammering against my ribs. A feeling of unease washed over me. I lost part of my vision to flashing lights and huge black spots. I couldn’t see but even worse… as I attempted to find a safe space to wait it out, I couldn’t remember what kind of car I drove.

What color is it? What make is it? How do I get home? Where is home?

I spent two hours searching the parking lot… yet I couldn’t remember the vehicle I had been driving for over 6 years. I sat on the curb, buried my face in my hands and sobbed. The battery on my unlock key ring had died. The panic button didn’t work.

I knew it wasn’t normal, but I tried to rationalize it anyway.

I’m inching closer to forty. It’s probably stress. I’m fine. I’m safe. It’s probably anxiety. Deep breath. Get creative.

I typed “home” into my GPS as soon as I could see better and that’s what I used to find my way back. I told my husband about the vision loss, I told him I couldn’t find the car, but I also told him it was probably just an ocular migraine. I left out the feeling of confusion because I didn’t want him to worry.

I saw an eye doctor. I got a new pair of glasses. I continued moving towards my goals in life. Flower farming, being a mom, managing a household.

I passed out while sitting on my bed. It felt as if someone disconnected my brain. My vision went black, my ears were ringing and I flopped onto my back as quickly as possible. My wonderful husband was home for that one. The look on his face when I came-to had me agreeing to see specialists again even though I didn’t think they would be able to help me. I had my hearing checked for the second time. Everything came back clear again.

I narrowly avoided hitting my head when I passed out in our horse pasture. My face lifted towards the sun I couldn’t see, but I could feel the warmth on my body. The soft grass supporting my spine. When I came-to, I took a moment before getting up on wobbly legs.I finished watering the equine, tidied up the farm chores, and went back to the house to sleep it off.

Little episodes happened a couple times a week. I would feel a flood of unease and anxiety, my heart would race, my hands shook uncontrollably, blood pressure would skyrocket, then I would suddenly feel confused. Forgetful. I would stutter, loose my grasp on words. My brain felt foggy.

Strangers asked me if I was okay. I wasn’t. Random people said I didn’t look so good. I didn’t feel so good.

When discussing my reality, I told my husband whatever was happening would either kill me or become so serious it would be impossible to ignore. I was half joking when I said those words but they turned out to be dangerously true. I just didn’t realize it at the time.

What’s your name?” The woman at registration asked gently.

I don’t know.”

Where do you live?”

I can’t remember.”

I tried to search my mind. Who am I? I could visualize my farm in my head but I couldn’t remember my own name or where my farm was located. So I stood there until I started to cry.

Do you know your social security number?”

“… No.”

When I finally recalled my name, I couldn’t remember how to spell it, so I pulled out my ID and I handed it to the hospital staff with my insurance information.

This time was so much worse. At around two or three in the morning I had an uneasy feeling slam me like a freight train. I watched videos on YouTube about overcoming anxiety.

Remind yourself this feeling is temporary. You are in a safe place. Accept the feelings as they come but know they will pass.” The woman on the screen coaxed me. She was right. I wasn’t going to panic.

The feeling grew stronger, a sense of doom descended like a black cloud. I rolled out of bed to get a bottle of water. I hardly made it into the kitchen when my heart felt as if I was running a marathon. I began to sweat, I started panting and hit my knees to the floor.

Standing would be impossible so I crawled to the bathroom. I thought maybe if I threw up I’d feel better, or if I just used the restroom I’d be back to normal in time. Sitting on the throne with my pants around my ankles I remembered the video I had watched earlier.

I am in a safe place. Breathe. Stay calm. It will pass.

I hardly finished the thought when darkness encompassed me. The sound of my heart thumping in my ears. My vision was gone, like a light bulb burning out. My hearing vanished and I couldn’t move my limbs but I felt my face hit the floor.

My first conscious thought was that I either died or I was going to die. My second thought was the horror of someone finding me on the floor with my peach shaped rump in the air. I bet they would leave that out of the obituary… or maybe not.

LaShelle was found deceased, half naked next to the toilet. No one knows what happened to her but she is survived by her loving husband and the son who found her in such a precarious state of humiliation. Cue the sounds of wailing.

When I could see again, I assessed the damage. I softly touched my throbbing head, and discovered the fact that I lost all control over my bowels. Full on humiliation mode was short lived because bile began burning my esophagus. I yanked the towel off the rack behind the door just before projectile vomiting all over the floor.

I deserved a sweatshirt after this ordeal. A slogan along the lines of “Not even forty and already crapping herself.” I imagined it stained with horse slobber and covered in hay.

This time the episode was violent. Worse than it had ever been and I tried to decide if I should call someone or just clean myself up and go back to bed without telling a soul. What if I had been driving? What if Nikolai walked in? What if I didn’t wake up?

I dialed my husband’s number. I called Izzy to come get me once I had been coerced into going to the emergency room, and then I called my mom. The confusion set in pretty quickly.

Hi LaShelle, I’m the neurologist on call for tonight. Can you tell me where you are?”

The hospital?”

Very good. Do you know what day it is?”

“… I don’t remember.”

Do you know who the president is?”

The box of information in my brain was empty. I gave the doctor a blank stare.

I was in and out of sleep as they ran a series of tests. They put sticky tabs all over my head which connected to wires and ran to some kind of a computer. I didn’t have hope. All tests would be normal like it always was. I would probably be sent home within the hour. I was so confident, I told Nikolai not to worry. I said I’d be home in time to pick him up after school.

Hello again LaShelle. I wanted to stop by your room to talk to you. I’m going to be your neurologist for the rest of your stay. All of your tests came back normal.”

I knew it.” I thought bitterly. “I shouldn’t have come.”

“… Except one. Your brain scan showed abnormal brain waves. That means you’ve had a seizure. Has this happened before?”

I’ve passed out before and I’ve been confused before.”

I see. Well, we need to keep you here for observation okay? We’re starting you on some seizure medicine today and you need to know that you’re no longer allowed to drive for the next six months. Every time you have another one, it’s another six months of no driving. Alright? It’s the state law, we don’t want you to hurt yourself or anyone else.”

I have seizures?” I sobbed. “You figured out what’s wrong with me? Thank you so much for giving me answers.”

I walked into the emergency room that morning not knowing who I was. Having been turned away by doctors multiple times (more than what was summed up here). The relief of knowing who I really am, was the most precious gift I have ever gotten.

It’s terrifying to face each day with uncertainty. To be unsure of how to manage symptoms alone and left wondering if things will get worse. Pushing myself to be a mom, a small business owner, and to work around the obstacles because not one medical professional was on my side.

It shouldn’t have taken so long to figure things out. We need to live in a world where doctors are held accountable for writing people off and mistreating them. Instead, they get paid regardless of service.

If I take my car to see a mechanic and they are unable to identify the problem, the mechanic doesn’t get paid. Yet so many of my doctor visit’s have ended with a five minute conversation, no tests, and a pat on the back to wish me luck. I still receive an outrageous bill afterwards that goes on my credit if it goes unpaid.

I am not a healthy (now almost thirty-seven year old) woman. I am a woman who was written off and belittled multiple times. Even though I have a kidney disease, a stomach disease, and have now been diagnosed with seizures. I could have died or worse yet… I could have hurt someone.

I don’t deserve to waste precious time questioning who I am, or my sanity. I shouldn’t have to defend myself to my physicians or beg them to listen to me when I’m paying them to fight for me. The next time I go through this, I’m walking out… and I hope you will too.

65 thoughts on “Who am I?”

  1. Oh my goodness. How scary to have this happen. I was just wondering this morning if you would be posting your blog anymore since you have had so many horrible health concerns . You are the reason I check my door locks two and three times every morning when my husband leaves for work. I hope that you will be okay that I will be praying for your health and healing. I will pray that there is a medical professional that has their crap together and can find out what is causing your seizures. Be Safe Beautiful Soul.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much for reading Kelly! I have a ton of doctor appointments to go to and the new medicine makes me loopy but hopefully I can get things sorted out now. I’m glad I’m the reason you lock your doors and stay safe! Thanks for thinking of me and for reading. It means a lot ❤️


      1. It does seem so, Lashelle I count myself very lucky that I have not experienced anything like that at all but I have friends who have and its explaining what is going on and being believed when tests don’t back your symptoms up.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. It’s terrible to me when people are seeking help and actively paying for these medical bills that fund a physician’s pay check… Yet they refuse to listen. The number of doctors who’ve told me that I’m perfectly healthy should be in trouble for malpractice. It’s one thing to say they don’t know, but it’s quite another to have to defend myself and beg them to believe me. Most of the time they don’t run any tests at all. One doctor listened to my heart and sent me home.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Beautiful picture with little. So sad your’s story. Very terrible sharing your problems. You have lot of problems. You trust of God. I pray to God, your health is good. All health recovery. I inspiring.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m so sorry you went through all this. It’s every doctors job to believe their patient and try to investigate the cause of their issues. However, so many of them simply dismiss people and women in particular. A friend of mine went to multiple doctors and was dismissed constantly. Eventually she ended up in the ER. It turns out she had severe anaemia and almost died.


  4. I’m sorry to hear about the nonsense you had to go through with the doctors, but glad you finally got some answers. I feel a bit guilty for saying this due to the subject matter- but I enjoy your reading your posts very much-you’re such a good writer and storyteller!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I am going to focus on the positive that you finally found a doctor who listened and didn’t give up on finding what’s going on inside of your body. Hopefully, they will find a way to fix it so that you don’t have to live through this the rest of your life. You have a wonderful husband and beautiful son to enjoy life with so I do hope for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Focusing on the positive is a wonderful way to live but it’s also good to change people’s perspectives. The goal here wasn’t to be a “Debbie downer” it was to empower other women who’ve sat down with a doctor they were paying to help them, only to be forced to defend themselves for wanting help. If it hasn’t happened to you before then I’m so thankful you’ve never had to experience it. Unfortunately if you read other blogs, watch TikTok, or just chat it up with your girlfriends… The odds of you finding similar occurrences happening to friends and family members is crazy high. If we don’t get serious about it and we don’t talk about it, then nothing changes.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. No, I know you weren’t aiming for Debbie Downer at all. I hate that you had to go through so many dismissive doctors to find one ready to look deeper. It’s more than frustrating, it can be deadly. A friend’s wife had stomach pains and was shooed away till finally ending up in the hospital and getting a “why didn’t you come sooner?” She is now dead from ovarian cancer (at the age of 32). So no, ladies. Don’t allow them to dismiss you and I am glad you didn’t.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh wow. That’s so heartbreaking for your friend’s wife and his family. Thanks for sharing that Dale. Hopefully other people read about your friend and they demand better from their physicians too. ❤️ I’m so glad you understood what I was trying to say.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Thanks Dale! I hope your day is amazing. I’ve missed being on here but I’ve had so much on my plate. I found out I had seizures on Monday of this week (at least I think it was Monday… I’m still pretty hazy on some of the details). I’m trying hard to find my way back to writing and get my life in a schedule again. The new medicine is kicking my butt, hopefully my body will adjust soon.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Thank you. And hope your day goes well.
        Don’t you worry. Your health comes first. We’ll all be here whenever you feel the energy 🙂


    1. Thanks Ally! Hopefully what I wrote will help other women be brave and demand more from their physicians than I did from mine. I ended up in the hospital on Monday I think (I’m still struggling with a foggy brain) and I was diagnosed on Tuesday or Wednesday. I’m on some new medicine that makes me sleep a lot. It’s going to take a couple of weeks to become adjusted. I was very lucky they saw the shock waves on my brain scan. Apparently it’s hard to diagnose.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. This post is thought-provoking.

    First, so you know I know what it feels like to be hit by a health crisis completely unexpectedly. A few months ago, I went to the emergency room for what I thought was a cold that wouldn’t go away; I am now recovering from open heart surgery. (recovery is going great so far, thank God)

    That said, I’ve got about 4 points in response to your post.

    You are so right about how screwed up some areas of medicine are, particularly primary care; however, there are some amazing doctors. In general, it’s not the doctor but the government and fucking insurance companies that make it more difficult to give care.
    Have you still not been diagnosed? (sounds like you haven’t been). I don’t know how you can have all of the cognitive symptoms without trauma to your brain (tumors, strokes, clots). A problem with your heart, or any other system, wouldn’t affect your memory and other brain functions directly.
    You probably need to find a really, really smart internal medicine person. My dad is a genius retired family doc. I’ll share your symptoms with him and see what he says.
    I feel for you. Things were going so great, it sounded like, with your young family and farm/business; It Sounds like everything is going to hell, health-wise, which must be very discouraging and scary. I’ll pray for you – hang in there and keep looking for the right doctor – I am positive you will find a diagnosis – your symptoms are too severe to be the result of some disorder or disease too obscure to find.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I was diagnosed with seizures this week. The episodes had been happening for about two years. In the defense of my primary care physician… She tried but my health is out of her scope. That being said, I ended up being seen by her when I was in the area and my blood pressure was outrageously high. She shrugged it off and also called it anxiety. It’s not anxiety. Normal people don’t forget who they are or where they live. Normal people don’t pass out either. I’ve seen more specialists than I can count. I’ve begged for help. The cardiologist put a stethoscope to my chest, listened, said I sounded young and healthy…. sent me on my way. I saw a neurologist too. A hot shot specialist who told me I didn’t have the stomach disease I was diagnosed with (despite knowing nothing about gastrointestinal diseases). I was diagnosed with ocular migraines, she sent me on my way after attempting to take me off the medication that saved my life with my stomach disease. I never went back to her.

      Most doctors don’t listen to women. My husband has gone with me to several of my appointments because I get written off time and time again.

      I have been having seizures this entire time. I’ll be seeing a whole new slew of doctors in the coming weeks ahead.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sounds like a nightmrare. What’s causing the seizures (isn’t tht a symptom) ? I know from your blog that you are a smart and rational person, so I agree, don’t see how anziety, depression or anything mood disorders would explain. Didyou get cat scan to rukle out brain tumors?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. All the CAT scans with and without contrast are normal. They can see the seizures on my brain waves scan but they don’t know why I’m having them. It’s possibly idiopathic. They have definitely been ramping up. I am hoping and praying my new specialists are resourceful. We shall see. All I know right now is that I 100% have seizures. Why? I have no idea. The why isn’t as important to me at this time as getting them under control is. They’re extremely scary and very dangerous.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. By the way, my BP was something around 178/114 when I went to the emergency room. My husband had to tell the doctor that he wasn’t leaving and taking me home until they got it under control. He had to fight with them to get them to check my heart out and put me on medication for it. Without him there to defend me… I would have gone home and probably stroked out.
        Guess how many times a doctor has ever said to my husband “maybe you’re just too stressed out over being a dad?” When he’s gone to the ER for random things?
        0. It’s never happened.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. All this is very disturbing and awful. I pray you find the right doctor, you’ve clearly been mistreated with a good dose of malpractide. Hopefully you can sue some olf then. No, they would probably not say that to a guy, but emergency rooms especiallym they’re the bottom of the barrel and will box anyone in. Try mentioning that you tried drugs in college or somethind, ad they’ll treat you like a drug addicts and give bad care. That is interesting (and disturbing that you are running into Chauvinist doctors. I’ve never been a female, so makes snese that I”ve never experienced

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Lastly I wanted to mention that I’ve had doctors say they couldn’t handle my case before. I have so much more respect for them for saying they don’t know how to help me than I do for the doctors who’ve told me I was making it up, overreacting, or just plain crazy. Here’s a crazy list of other things doctors have actually said to me:
      “Maybe being a mom is too stressful for you.”
      “You’re probably just stressed out.”
      “Maybe you’re over reacting.”
      “You’ve come to me before with the same complaint a year ago today… Do you think that’s a coincidence?”
      “Maybe you should see a psychiatrist.”
      “If you check your blood pressure… It’s going to go up. So just don’t bother to check it.”
      “I don’t know what you’re complaining about. You look fine to me.”
      “Good luck with that. Sounds like a stroke or something.”
      “I had a heart attack when I was young… You probably just have anxiety like my husband. It feels real but it’s not.”

      The list goes on and on and on. It’s unacceptable to pay someone to mistreat you. It’s unacceptable to beg for help and get written off until things are so bad they have no other choice.
      My doctor’s knew I couldn’t remember things. I cried and begged them to help me figure it out or manage it better, or send me to someone who could help me.
      No one should be paying for mistreatment.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. What a terrible ordeal, made even worse by callous medical “professionals”. My daughter, who’s almost 25, started having seizures last January, out of the blue. The first one, she hit her face on the floor so hard she also got a terrible concussion. She lost her license for almost a year. All the testing was inconclusive, but it seems like a combination of extreme stress, poor eating habits, and lack of sleep, which are all something she goes through around exam time, may be the trigger, so even though she hasn’t had one for a while, we’re especially wary right now with her finishing up school for the year and keeping our fingers crossed that she doesn’t have another one. Do you have any idea what triggers yours? At least our doctors here took it very seriously.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow! I’m so glad she was able to figure out what her triggers are! Is she on some medicine for them? I’m really hoping the medicine helps me. I’m not sure what my triggers are. They seem to come out of nowhere.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. No, but she already takes an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety med, so hopefully that will help. She just lets herself get run down, and she knows she can’t do that anymore. It’s such a worry, as I’m sure you know!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I don’t have an issue with high stress, I don’t really have trouble with depression (unless I don’t feel well), I do sometimes have issues with me sleep but over all I try to get my fill of rest. I eat well, I exercise because I’m always working on farm stuff… So I really don’t know why it’s happening but I’m thankful I know what it is now. I just want to manage it better ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

  8. LaShelle – I am sorry to hear about your medical woes … I assumed you were busy planting all the seeds that you had perused/ordered from the seed catalog when last we “chatted”. I hope you are soon on the road to recovery – this is your busy time of year.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve been doing that too. We also built my beautiful flower cart and I can hardly wait to share that here with all of you. I’m not giving that up for anything ☺️ I just have had some hiccups ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Given all your symptoms, no one ever thought to do a brain scan before this one?????

    While I was reading your post, I thought about one of my former sisters-in-law (yeah, my brother was married three times … ick). She was in her twenties when she started having symptoms similar to yours. I don’t know the full extent of her medical history but I don’t believe she went through the kind of physician hell that you did. Fairly quickly, they found that she had two brain tumors. They were surgically removed (and were thankfully benign) but she lost hearing in one of her ears because one of the tumors had gotten tangled up in some nerves. Anyway, this was a long time ago and maybe … maybe … doctors were more interested in doctoring back then.

    Gosh, I’m just so sorry you went this long before a physician took you seriously. One thing I urge you to do is, whenever possible, have your husband come with you to your medical appts. It just helps for so many reasons, not the least of which is your husband can validate any bad experiences you might have. I had a bad experience with a neurologist not too long ago. My husband came with me and, while at first we both wanted to give the doctor the benefit of the doubt, the more we discussed the visit, the more we accepted the fact that I had been treated badly. He prescribed me an anti-depressive which was not appropriate for what I was going through. With my husband’s support, I decided to not take the drug and to cancel a follow-up appt. Life is too short to spend it wasting time with someone who really doesn’t care.

    I hope you are being given therapies that will help you. You have a wonderful life and should be living it to the fullest.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much Marie. My husband goes with me whenever he’s not working but it’s been very difficult to figure this out. The hospital I was at last week was very thorough, they did two brain scans and a scan to check brain activity. At the moment we don’t have any answers for why I have seizures but I recently found out that there is a family history of it on my father’s side. I don’t know my father very well because he left my mom when she was pregnant with me to be with someone else. So we are trying to sort out the details and I have another appointment with my primary care physician tomorrow. I’m a little apprehensive to see how it will go. Just because I was diagnosed doesn’t mean that all the doctors I see will accept that. So we’ll find out how things go pretty soon.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. What a horror show to go through. And yes, it’s challenging to find doctors who are caring and thorough and not judgmental. But they are out there! When I read all of your symptoms my first thought was “Lyme disease.” I have several friends who were misdiagnosed for months and years, and getting Lyme treated quickly is essential.
    Lastly, I have a seizure disorder as well – at first they diagnosed MS. But mine are stress-related (physical and emotional) so I treat myself with meditation, yoga, walking, and a good diet, which has helped tremendously. Good luck finding the right treatment for you. BELEIVE in yourself and LISTEN to your body.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I’m sorry you went through all this. I’m sorry it took so long and I’m sorry that there are doctors who dismiss people’s complaints just because they don’t want to spend a few more minute taking careful history or really LISTENING. That happens too often, especially to women. I’m also sorry that it led to you dismissing what your body was saying to you. We all have to work hard to not replace our own judgement and sense of being, with someone else’s opinion. I’m glad that you got help, and that you were not more seriously hurt (and of course, that no one else was, which I’m sure would’ve been devastating to you!). I’m glad you’re doing better. Listen to your body. YOU know it best. Hugs, Na’ama


  12. That terrible to have to go through all that. Especially as you say the doctors should be doing their thing. I can imagine in other service areas where people haven’t performed you can ask for your money back – I’ll bet you can’t do that here.

    It’s legal theft…

    I hope you’re doing better 🙂


  13. LaShelle, I’m so sorry you had to endure this, but I’m glad you finally know what is/was wrong. Doctors write us off all the time. I want to say it’s just women, or just women of color, but I honestly think this is the actual practice.

    Thank you, too, for sharing about your experience.


  14. I am appalled at the first doctor’s treatment of you. Even if you had anxiety – that can be a clinical diagnosis and as debilitating as any other illness. I hope you are now on good medication and have more understanding doctors.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s been a lot. I’m having break-through seizures (meaning they’re still happening despite the medicine)… But I’m just waiting in limbo for the specialist to take over.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. It sounds like he is a really good neurologist, if he has such a waiting list. Perhaps he uses cancellations to give him a little more time or for emergencies? I waited 3 months to see a neurosurgeon and it was worth it. He concurred with me that surgery was not a good idea for my spine. If you keep notes of episodes until you see him, it might help his diagnosis. Take care.


  15. First, it was such a wonderful surprise to see a post by you. I’ve missed you! Secondly, I’m so sorry. The medical system, much like the education system, is broken. It’s particularly hard for women and minorities to get proper care. Women are often dismissed and told “you are fine.” I’ve had this happen to me. I’m on my own journey of self-healing and discovery, although it’s nothing like what you are experiencing. My heart goes out to you. I’m glad you are getting partial answers and hopefully they can get you feeling more like yourself soon. What you described is terrifying!


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